My life is always upside down!!

Eleven o'clock at night and 2 pain pills later I should be sleeping but no I am watching Billy the Exterminator cause once again I can't sleep. Why u say? Because I have inherited the "worry" gene from my grandma. I try not to but lately I worry about everything and this so not good. I have so much stress that I deal with on a daily basis and then lay in bed all night worrying about it. I never sleep, well I do but like for an hour here and an hour there.
I worry about everything lately and I am sure its because I am lonely. I spend all day everyday with kids and no adult interaction (unless u count the check out lady at the grocery store). I talk to a few friends online daily but its not the same as being with other people. i just think the stress, the worrying, and the lonelyness (sp?) are making me depressed. I need to get outta this funk and fast!

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Cake Contest

So I have officially entered a cake contest! Not really thinking I am going to win, espically after looking at the other contestants photos. But I entered and that's all that matters, who knows I might win runner up or something?

I dont have the exact link but if u wanna vote for me u so can!
Go to Wetv.com
under sweepstakes and contests
under Amazing Cakes contest
I have 4 entries - Polka Dots, Go Texans, Flowers and Go Diego Go!!

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My Random Thoughts

My mind is running a hundred miles an hour! I think its the meds I am on.
Thought#1 -I have been questioning my life a lot lately, my relationship with my husband, friendships, everything. I have come to the conclusion that if people dont like me then oh well cause I am gonna be me regardless. My husband and I have been going through some stuff lately but things to seem to be getting better. I figure if hes tolerated me for the past 7 1/2 years then I can tolerate him as well.
Thought#2 -My firendships have been going through a yo-yo cycle as well. I have realized that real true friends are hard to find. True friends are there whenever you need them and if when u dont want em around. I have had many many friends and realize that most of them are aquaintances ( I know misspelled that). I have never had many female friends cause females are females and tend to be gossipy and two faced. I consider myself to be a good friend, I mean I do whatevr I can for anyone- yeah I am a bitch sometimes but arent we all?
Thought #3-- need a job! seriously! with Christmas and the kids birthdays fast approaching. I am so worried about making their bdays and Christmas' great- I guess I need to sell more cakes?

Thought#4- maybe I need to put an ad on CS or something and maybe get more business? I have even thought of maybe selling pies for the holidays? I have been told my pumpkin, sweet potato and pecan pies are pretty good maybe people would buy them? Idk I need to do something!

My ER experience

Ok so I woke up yesterday morning with the left side of face swollen and sore as heck. I put ice on it thinking that would help, it didnt. So at about 6 pm I went to ER at said hospital. Upon arriving I was quickly triaged and found my blood pressure to be way high for me. The nurse said it was because of the pain, then she had the nerve to ask if someone hit me? After being triaged so quickly I thought well maybe it wont be forever. Boy was I wrong! As I am quietly sitting there I hear people talking about how long they had been there. One lady, I am unsure as to what was wrong as she looked totally healthy, had been there since 9am! Another lady had been there since 12 and a young man who has some kind of kidney problems had been there since about 10am! Those 3 were finally seen at 1am!! I sat there waiting until 3 am and there was still 6 people infront of me and I was told it would be another 4 or 5 hours! I had to leave so the husband could go to work and I had to get kids ready to go to school. I understand that its an ER and its gonna take a while but they would take a couple people back then wait an hr- then call a couple more!
So today in the afternoon I went to another ER and was in and out in an hour and half! So thankful! Confirmed what I already knew, its an abcess. I was antibiotics and pain meds and also a list of dentists thats fees are on a sliding scale! yea! I went and got them filled and took the prescibed dose and soon after crashed! Feel better already!

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Today was a good day!

So today was a good day! I got to sleep to about 10 which is very rare around here. Got up, got kids ready (all decked out in our Texans gear), finished up the cake and went to a birthday get together for the husbands aunt. Had a great time just being around people!! The game was great as well (GO TEXANS)! and the cake was loved by all! Matter of fact, it was all gone before I left! Will post pic! Kids got to play with some other kids and run around outside and had some great BBQ! Got a lot to do tomorrow! Found out Headstart has openings so gonna try to get all 3 lil ones in and going to join the Y! I can join the Y and go workout during the day while the kids are in school!! I see good things in the future!! ;)

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I feel so alone!!

I am sitting at home on another Saturday alone...well not really the kids are but they have been in bed for hours. I have tons to do, my sofa is covered in laundry that needs to be folded, floor needs to swept, yada..yada..yada... I dont wanna do that stuff as that is ALL I seem to do. Yes I know I am Mom and thats my job but really? I take care of kids 24/7 never really getting a break.......Sure I have a husband but hes not much help as the kids are always coming to me even if hes right there. I have a few friends but they all have their own lives to deal with and no one wants to listen to my problems. I am trying to lose weight but the recent stress and daily life isnt helping at all! I just dont know what to anymore.

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Toddler Trouble!!

Just wanted to share. How can such a beautiful face, do this in just a matter of minutes?I painted the girls finger nails red and blue (GO TEXANS) and I left the polish on the coffee table. It had been there for a couple days and no one had messed with it. Yesterday I went to put some clothes up in my room and came back to this!!

The light bulb came ON!!!

So in exactly one month I will be 30, and yeah I know that's not old, but I really thought by 30 my life would be so different. I mean I totally expected to have a house, a nice car, and a decent job. I have none. I haven't worked in ten years, and not for lack of trying though. No one wants to hire you when you haven't worked in forever. I mean you can't write Mom on your application.
Ten years ago I graduated high school with a kid in tow. I totally thought I would never have anymore kids. I worked most of the time when my oldest was little but pretty much minimum wage paying jobs. In February 2004, I had another son and totally said, I am done. Yeah right! Three months later I was pregnant AGAIN!! I unfortunately had a miscarriage. Almost exactly 9 mths later I was pregnant again! Yes I do know what causes it. Had another son in December 2005. I said really I am done! Got the shot and was super careful, but I guess not careful enough because less than 3 mths later I was pregnant with twins!! Yes I know, I know....My twins will be four in December and I am ready to make my life the way I want it. I realize now only I can obtain what I want so I am gonna go out there and get it!
I am enrolling in junior college in January for baking and pastry. I have set goals and whether my friends and family are by my side or not, I am going to succeed!!! My kids and I deserve the best things in life and heck I only have like 9 years before I have one kid in college and I want to be able to pay for all five of my kids to go to the best school they can! I don't want them about to be thirty realizing then what they could have. I want them to have it all!!! Go me!!! So lookout thirty cuz here I come!!!!!

Pictures from Summer 2010

Flood update

So the apt is almost back in order- geez it has been a rough one! We are dealing with some mold issues and hoping the apt complex addresses it asap- today was a holiday so I am hoping they fix it tomorrow! My kids are now all sleeping on the floor :( this saddens me beyond all means- My oldest had his lil couch he was sleeping on and it got soaked so it had to go. The other boys shared a king size bed that got soaked and began to mildew- my youngest has allergies and asthma so there is no way he could sleep on that! The girls popped a hole in their air mattress! I have had a couple people wanna give me beds BUT I have no way to go get them and I simply dont have the money to buy beds right now! The van is still broke down and have no idea when its gonna be fixed or by who? So for now its Metro for us- We haved lived without a car before so we can do it again! I am hoping things get better soon!!

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They make my day brighter!

just a few pics of the kiddos, that have brightened my day!

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Today was a better day!

I can say that because it has gotten better! Last night after a great talk with some great gals, I realized my life is full of chaos right now but overall I have a good life. I mean I have 5 healthy kids, a roof over our heads, and food to shovel in their mouths. The past few months just have been rough and it will get better and me feeling sorry for myself and throwing myself a pity party yesterday made me feel better. Even if I did delete some great people from FB( I have since added them back and apologized). So now I am going to put that crap behind me and be happy!
We got new carpet today! The smell of wet dog is gone. In case you dont know, we dont have a dog! lol! Now just got to finish putting things up. I feel like i just did all this, oh wait I did when I moved in 2 mths ago. The van still isnt running but will work on it this weekend. Hopefully its a good 3 day weekend!! I see BBq and some alcohol in my future! ;)

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Today is NOT the day.....

So today I am not in a good mood at all!! So my freaking apartment is still in shambles..crap laying here and there, nothing in 3 bedrooms. All the crap is piled up in my living room, looks like an episode of Hoarders over here!! The carpet still isnt dry. The people came this am to replace the padding and I am like your not going to replace the carpet? No, we just replace padding. Oh no!! I took my not so happy behind to the office and demanded they do something else. My apartment smells like wet dog!! So now they are going to replace the carpet tomorrow! Now I have to move all furniture into my living room and dining room. Well the living room is already full so now I gotta figure out how to get my king sized bed and 2 dressers in here also, plus all the crap out of my closet.
Oh wait I forgot to mention the beginning of my day.. I got up to take the kids to school and everything was cool. I thought well at least I can take them to school today, umm NOT!! My van wont start again!! I know it sounds like I am making this up but I swear my life should be a damn book as much goes wrong.
And I took all my frustrations out on FB-ha- I deleted a lot of people and I am sure some people will be mad but I am not in a good mood and dont wanna hear there I am happy as blah, blah shit. Cold ,yes. Mean, yes. Do I have the right? Yes cause I am a bitch!!